Untouchable

I never was the one to like too much attention but the way I am just intrigue most men they stare and I feel funny it drives me crazy and they always got to say something completely outta line so I just walk away and pay them no mind I used to wonder why they stare the way they do until my friend reminded me of something that I never really paid attention to he was like you know you`er not ugly so thats why they stare I was like I guess you`er right but I never seem to care cuz every time they look at me I feel uneasy as long as they dont touch me everything is breezy I never stick around or chat cuz when they say something stupid they say it to my back I dont come off stuck up I just dont have time for that Im tryin to get money earned by me so when I hear the bullshit I just start to sneeze like they words Just upset my allergies I probably wouldnt care if I knew they were being real but game recognize game and thats the truth Im not for being gamed and lied to I had enough of that through out my short young adult years so when I look away you kno you dont have my ears you probably lost conversation a couple of sentences back cuz the whole time I was listening to you Im thinking oh dats where yo heads at well mine is another place right now I got a move I want to make and Im still tryin to figure out how Im gone get where I need to be how in the hell am I going to walk this road ahead of me so forgive me if your talk seem so small to me I got things that I wanna do I dont want to stay here bullshitin with you Im not a rude chick at least I try not to be but some of yall can really pull the worst out of me I tried to be nice but some of yall just cant take a simple no thank you Im ok so when I get pissed off you made me this way why you didnt leave me alone and walk a way instead you want me to react this way

My Greatest Passion

today I had this feeling pulling at my heart something in my soul picking me apart I took a deep breath and wondered what is happening to me I let the breath go and proceeded to breathe I saw what wanted and all I ever dream laying at my feet a single tear fell from my eye cuz Im like this got to be a dream I never get what I want just laid out in front of me I open my eyes and swear a heard a voice speak to me( its yours for the taking if you believe in me everything worth having starts with me) my greatest passion is to work for what I want, dont just give it to me I want to deserve all that I have and I want to earn my lessons from my past I take my responsibility as the woman Im destined to be I choose to be love not love choosing me I speak of love because I know deep down I have alot stored in me I can be hard as steel and ready to kill same rules apply when love is what I feel I will never forget love or at least I`ll try not to, only thing you can do in this world is love, Live and Die so no regrets or second thoughts when I close my eyes

Trapped

I feel like the world got me by my ankles shakin my brain loose but yet I remain silent I never reveal the truth what do I have to gain cuz when I speak my mind Im only left with pain no one on this earth can ease my hurt Im tryin to get up but it feels like my knees nailed to the dirt I dont wanna do it I hope my words hit ya heart like some traveling bullets and peirce yo soul I dont know what made this young woman turn so cold Life is a bitch its sayin that I know so well Im tryin to make it to heaven beyond this hell that feel like Im trapped in how can I live right in a world of sin I fall down in peices of me left all around I cant pick them up cuz they glued to the ground I open my mouth but I dont make a sound am I living or extsiting is my question now I feel stationary and Nothing moves to me Im stuck standin with blood covering my feet Im getting haunted by demonic dreams like Im layin in all white floating in a blood stream that right there could make a real nigga scream but Im quite still running to catch my dreams tryin grab something thats not even remotely close to am I living in this world or am I just a ghost too cuz all I got to hold on to is my hopes to lead my way then I listen to the sounds and Im guided by faith yet I still feel empty man what has my life come to no matter how hard I grind it never gets me close to you hangin in the balance once again is this how Im gone live til the bloody end damn all I see is pain ahead of me dreaming of blood rain covering me how did I get here Lord why me I was once the one who was always happy but times have changed I try to live my life but nothin..s the same this right here could drive me completely insane Im tryin to be Kendra how can I when Krazy wont be restrained she fuckin over me left and right she alwayz got me thinkin and I cant sleep at night I dont know how she make wrong feel so damn right Kendra is Krazy no matter How hard I fight I cant do nothin but except it cuz she been apart of me all my life but she alwayz find a way to wrong my rights I guess Im trapped being Krazy for the rest of life she dont have my heart she the hole that I got in it cuz everytime Kendra fell in love Krazy would end it like she didnt want me to be happy like she just wanted to bring misery to me how could my own ego do this to me Krazy I got you I wont let you win again cuz Kendra..s falling in luv for the second time again so bow down bitch cuz Kendra..s fightin to win I wont let you keep fuckin over me like you did when we begined Kendra finally takin over so fall back I got this Krazy cuz Im not gone let you come between me and my Future baby

NO Explanations

How can I explain myself now I use to have logic to dictate my actions but I lost my way some how so my only conclusion is that my heart has fully turn black so many mistakes can turn something so big and red like that now I walk through this world without a single care I..m searching for something that use to be there yet it..s gone forever I use to be the one that said never will I stop the love that is inside but I let it go and now it has died I tried to resurrect it hopeless I found it to be because of this emptiness that is over crowding me sometimes I feel happy otherwise disdain not bitter just over shadowed by pain yet I found comfort in it because I became so use to it all I can rise up but yet I look for the fall it jus follows so close behind failure & that is not an option yet its always mine to others it does not seem that way because they look from the outside but not at me all I want is to be free from disappointments that always come my way love is no longer a factor it always leaves questions never answers so now what do I do just what I want Lie to myself no else I only speak the truth when ask of me other than that Im silent no gasp no sigh if you want to know my true feelings I let you know I promise I will not lie but I will not express them without consent jus buy my time until I feel enough has been spent so many words I will not speak aloud for they hover over me like a black cloud it..s gone take some time for my emotions to fully be free here and now it..s not going to happen for me I build everything I knew on making myself happy yet the job is never ending I keep starting over never making it to the beginning where all my despair lays ahead so I do not look for those days for the wounds are too deep to bust open the stitches traveling back could only make me listless, lethargic,and even modified for all I remember is lies that I was told and lies I told myself I created an imbalance that overthrew me and I couldn..t be help I found it or did it find he was like a pillar of things that I wanted to have in me shocking to my soul his coldness gave me strength that took my breath from me I was not afraid for I felt he help me find my way I only wish he could help me now I can..t ask him because my pride will not yield the words out my mouth he probably has no idea that small things makes big differences in my world yeah the growing pains of a girl who is soon to be walking in a woman..s shoes I am at a crossroad which way will I choose a difficult journey win or lose still no explanation is laid out in my path what do I want has no relevance to what I have and what I have has no relevance to what I want success is nothing without a love to share but how can one love if they start not to care so many question I..m still at square one I..ll search for my answers until the deed is done no explanation as of now I..ll found them some way some how.

when Crying is not an option

right now is the time to be real I gave you all I had and yet you lied about how you feel if I didnt make you happy or things went sour Im thinking everything cool chillin like its happy hour then u went behind my back and rip my soul out want to rush me off the phone when u was by that hoe house now you sayin it was a mistake that Im the one for u Im like you had fuck somebody to figure out what I already Knew with a tight jar I stand toe to toe with u knowin that my heart is breakin in two becuz of u I turn my back and walked away do what you wanna do now u garbing my wrist askin for another chance tryin to break thru my Bgirl stance trying to make me change my mind tryin hit me with a lame ass text book line (I love you, I know its you it scared me when I thought you were too good to be true) questioning my intelligence if you think thats gone work Ima keep on walkin and endure my hurt cuz rather myself than let you get the satisfaction I dont have time to talk just watch my actions not crying or screaming just cool reactions Im gone let my tears fall eternally Im not gone let you think you got the best of me so a farewell and have a nice day I left the door open and then I said and get da fuck out cuz the rent I paid so now you free to do you now you can do what ever you want since I was too good to be true

walkin away

Time keeps going and the clocks tick on I leave a faith memory then Im gone I got to change lanes before my heart catch up to me it never did nothin but fuck things up for me its gone be hard but nothin ever been easy for me how can I turn my back when I feel like you stuck to me maybe my hearts getting closer and made me take my trust from me I got to follow my instincts and follow my path but time I spent with you always help me out when I need to laugh something deep in soul telling me I should fight but if I get what I want will it turn out rite knowin what I know I gotta swallow my pride it was short trip and mami enjoyed the ride maybe later one day I may do a U turn going with my step now cuz I got new lessons to learn til then no word from these lips of mine I`ll get it all off my chest through my Sonnets and rhymes Take a deep breath and let my smoke out smooth cuz the truth is Im really gone miss this dude never easy for me loose a dear friend I keep thinkin to myself damn not again so it comes down this I have no words to say its heavy on my chest knowing that I got to walk away Im still living doin what got to do but for a split second I be thinkin bout you I put prayin hand to my face to make the memories erase for some reason I always come back to this place I try to let it go but the pressure steady builds inside I gotta stride hard in these 3inch hills headed on the path with a cautions pace yet I still close my eyes and I see yo face Im trying to bury these feelins of something that can never be but these damn female emotions got da best of me I got to go before my knees get weak I rather keep silent cuz yo words cut so deep da time is now and I cant stay how can I move my feet knowing Its time to walk away til we meet again I`ll keep a empty space in hope that you might refill it one day no more dreaming in otter space my time is up just knowing its my time to walk away